


would you ever dance with me like that

by Xairathan



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: F/F, and the rest of the classmates but i'm too lazy to tag them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 05:52:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6411442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xairathan/pseuds/Xairathan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asuka gets dared to ask Rei to the dance. This, like all of Toji and Kensuke's other ideas, is a horrible one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	would you ever dance with me like that

Like all bad, poorly thought out ideas, this one begins with a dare. Or to be more precise, this bad idea begins the moment Asuka walks into her classroom, only to be confronted by Kensuke and Toji, orbiting her like two over-eager moons.

"So, Soryu!" Toji crows. "Someone told me you haven't chosen a person to ask for the dance yet."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Asuka says, setting her bag on her desk with a roll of her eyes.

"Oh come on," Kensuke whines. "There's only a week left for you to pick someone, and no one's started bragging about how they're going with you, so that means only one thing."

"That you two need to mind your own business and stop bothering me?"

"That you need to _ask_ someone!" Toji leans forward, elbows protruding over the barrier of Asuka's invisible bubble of personal space. "So, who's it gonna be. Shinji?"

"No, he's going with Nagisa, remember?" says Kensuke.

"Oh, right. Um..."

"And who are you two going with anyway?" Asuka snaps. "It's pretty hypocritical of you to ask me when you haven't even gotten dates yourselves."

"Toji's going with Hikari. _I'm_ an eligible bachelor- ow, hey!" Kensuke covers his head from another of Asuka's swats, inching away from her. "I was just making a suggestion!"

"Then I suggest you stop talking about it."

"Don't be such a downer, Soryu. I mean, come on. Someone else has got to be available, right?" Toji shrugs, spinning in a small circle to survey the room. "Um... like..."

"I bet Ayanami hasn't gotten asked yet," laughs Kensuke, his tone mocking. "I don't even think she's going."

Asuka's whips around to find the subject of Kensuke's jab. Rei is sitting on the opposite side of the class, nose buried in yet another book that Asuka's sure she's reading for the tenth time through. She probably wouldn't be the type to be interested in dances- but Asuka feels her ears beginning to turn warm at the thought of seeing Rei in a dress.

"Hey, Soryu. Helloooo?"

"What?!"

"So Kensuke and I were thinking." Toji leans forward conspiratorially, grinning slyly. "You know what you should do? Ask her."

"Me. You want me to ask Ayanami," Asuka deadpans.

"Why not?" asks Kensuke. "It'll be a great joke, and maybe it'll give you an idea of who to ask."

Asuka rolls her eyes, all too aware that the blush from her ears has begun to sneak its way onto her face. She turns away quickly to keep Kensuke and Toji from seeing it, staring at Rei.

It's not like Asuka wouldn't mind asking Rei- actually, she'd entertained the thought for a few seconds when the dance was announced, before reminding herself that everyone thought she loathed or at least disliked Ayanami. Not to mention there would be that strange period after the dance where everyone who went together was treated like a couple for a week, until the hype died down and everything went back to normal.

But being considered Rei's girlfriend- would that effect extend to her if they were both girls?- now that was something worth thinking about. "You know what?" Asuka finds herself saying. She straightens up, squaring her shoulders and puffing out her chest, looking like one of the guys just before he went to ask his date. "I think I will."

"She's doing it!" Toji announces, practically to the entire classroom.

Damn him for doing that, Asuka thinks, damn him for having obviously planned this out before her arrival, and damn herself for falling for it so easily. With the eyes of the entire classroom upon her, there's no way she can back out now. Rei seems oblivious to all of this. As Asuka watches, she turned a page of her book and resumed reading. Steeling herself, Asuka steps down the neat columns of desks and makes her way over to Rei.

She slaps her hands down on the table with a crack that draws even Ayanami's attention. Rei looks up, mild annoyance and curiosity peeking through her red eyes. Asuka's tongue darts out, moistening her lips, all her courage and bravado fleeing at the prospect of having to address Rei. "Ayanami!" she begins, her voice forceful. That's a good start. "I- you- go to the dance with me!"

It sounds more like an order than a request. Rei surveys Asuka for another long moment with that same blank expression. It makes her wonder if Rei is trying to read her like she would a book, if there are secrets she doesn't even know about herself hidden in her body language. No doubt her feelings regarding Rei are wrapped up in some careless wave of her hand or the tautness of her arms, still pressing down onto Rei's desk.

"Alright," Rei says at last, and immediately lifts the book back up to her face.

"Well. Good. That's settled, then." Asuka smiles, not sure if Rei even hears her. Still, she adds, "I'll come pick you up on Saturday, then. Any questions?"

Rei turns another page, then another, too quickly for her to actually have read anything- unless she's just skimming; she might be doing that. The behaviors of Rei Ayanami are strange and inexplicable, after all. Her lack of a response causes Asuka to huff out a sigh and storm back over to Toji and Kensuke, who greet her with laughter and pats on the back.

"Nice going!" says Kensuke. "So, who are you really going to ask?"

"Didn't I just ask Ayanami?" Asuka says, and launches into a tirade at Toji's response.

Rei hears none of this. Her attention lapsed immediately after hearing Asuka say her name. Past that, the sounds of the classroom become a buzzing in her ears, a minor annoyance that she can brush aside as carelessly as another page in her book. Of course, she's not reading any longer, but rather imagining what will happen that Saturday. There's a good chance she's being pranked- and she wouldn't put it past Asuka- but some part of her hopes that Asuka is sincere. Maybe they'll even get to hold hands, or-

She cuts that thought short before it can go anywhere. Asuka is most certainly joking, and there's no use lying to herself about that. But on the off chance that she's not, Rei will need something to wear. Something that wouldn't make Asuka die of secondhand embarrassment. Turning another page in her book, Rei makes a mental note to ask her mother to take her shopping before the week is over.

* * *

The dismissal bell rings, and Asuka can't shove her books in her bag quickly enough. "The dance is this weekend," she mutters to herself. "History test next week; track competition after that, have to make sure Wonder Girl looks presentable, too- What?" Asuka slams her hand down on the top of her desk, scaring an approaching Shinji back several feet. "Oh. It's just you," she says, shoving the strap of her bag up her shoulder.

"Asuka?" Shinji's hands clench and unclench as Asuka fixes him with her glare. "Um-"

"Make it fast, Ikari." Asuka stands, stretching her arms and heading for the door. "I'm busy."

"Can I talk to you? It'll only take a minute." Shinji darts around the desk, hurrying to keep up with Asuka. "It's about Rei."

Asuka's steps falter for a moment. She whips around, the ends of her hair nearly catching Shinji across the face. She grabs his wrist before he can step back, nails digging into his skin. "What about her?" she asks.

"Well... um-"

"Spit it out, Ikari!"

Shinji's eyes dart around the empty hall before he leans closer to Asuka. "Look. Asuka- Rei's really excited that you asked her to the dance. It you're... if it was a joke, could you just tell her now? Please?"

"Don't be stupid," Asuka snaps. "Once I've said I'll do something, I'll do it."

"Asuka-"

"Tell her I'll see her Saturday, and she'd better not make me look bad."

Asuka shoves Shinji's hand away from her and storms off, rolling her eyes at Shinji's puzzled, "But how do you know where-"

"Group project last semester," Asuka calls from down the hall. She vanishes around the corner before Shinji can say anything else, leaving him standing in the middle of the empty hall with his mouth slightly open and none of his worries eased at all.

* * *

"Well, I'm heading out." Shinji grins at Rei from across the room as he adjusts his jacket. "I'll... see you at the dance, I guess?"

Rei meets her brother's smile with one of her own, but it's flat; empty. She pushes aside the hollow feeling in her chest long enough to give Shinji a thumbs-up and wave at him until he's left and shut the door behind him.

She slumps back against the couch, expelling a long breath that rattles her lungs and echoes off the walls. Yui looks in from the kitchen, watching Rei with concern. "Are you alright, dear?" she asks.

"Nervous." Rei laughs, wondering if her mother can hear the tangled mix of her emotions threatening to break her level composure. "She'll be here soon."

"Your date, right?"

Rei's stomach flip-flops, but she freezes the happy look on her face with an effort of will and shakes her head, pretending it doesn't bother her when she replies, "No. She's just a friend."

"That's fine too." Yui eyes the clock set over the fireplace. It ticks on, heedless to the persistent twitching of Rei's hands and Yui's quiet, carefully concealed worry. "Would you please call me when she gets here?"

"I will."

Yui nods and disappears back into the kitchen. Rei hears her moving, cleaning up the remains of a dinner that she'd hardly touched. She folds her hands in her lap, adamantly avoiding the clock, drowning out its persistent ticking with her own breaths, slow but forceful, something to try and stop the ache building in her chest.

She doesn't know how much time passes, but she can guess- Shinji has probably met with Kaworu by now. They'll be on the dance floor at any moment, Kaworu treading on Shinji's feet and the pair of them laughing at his appalling lack of coordination. Perhaps they'll even kiss; Shinji's discussed this once or twice in passing, always to Rei's encouragement, though she could never admit that what Shinji hoped for himself and Kaworu was what she had dreamed to do with Asuka.

A sudden booming sound startles Rei from her thoughts. The clock is chiming seven, or eight, or nine; some irrelevant number whose only meaning is that Asuka hasn't come. It was to be expected- Rei admits this- but she can't keep a feeling of sickness from gathering in her stomach to clutch at the base of her throat. She stands silently and moves across the living room to the hallway, making sure to avoid letting Yui see her as she heads back to her room. Each step draws a sympathetic creak from the wood floor panels.

Her hand brushes the handle of her door, and at that moment there comes a chiming from the living room. Yui pokes her head out of the kitchen, looking around for the source of the noise. "Rei?"

"F-forgot something, sorry!" Rei says, hurrying back the way she came. Her hands tremble on the locks, and when she throws them aside and pries open the door, the hurt from before melts away all at once, shooting through her veins and doubtlessly turning her a faint shade of pink.

Asuka greets her with a casual wave that's anything but. Her eyes trail up Rei's body, taking in her dress. Somehow she's found a dress that matches both her hair and the paleness of her skin, and from it Asuka gathers the image of a star shining in the sky rather than a patient from a hospital. She manages to unstick the two dry halves of her mouth long enough to say, "You look... good." Her voice is oddly restrained, but not like she's holding back a yell. Instead it sounds like she's forcing something to stay down, perhaps a flood of compliments- but more realistically, Rei thinks, an insult masked as one. "Sorry I'm late," she adds. "Some guys from the idiot squad showed up and I had to yell at them to get lost. They seemed to think I wasn't being serious when I asked you."

"It's fine." The porch light glitters off Rei's teeth as she smiles and holds up a hand. "Mom, she's here!"

"One moment!" Yui calls back.

Rei shakes her apologetically. "My mom wants to talk to you. It shouldn't take long."

"Yeah, I get that." Asuka waves her hand again, still feigning an apathy that falls apart the moment she looks back at Rei. "Um... my car's in the driveway. You wanna wait inside? It might be a little warmer than out here."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't need you freezing to death before we even get to the dance," Asuka says. "The door's open. Go ahead."

"Thank you." Rei walks past Asuka and climbs into the car, shutting the door and looking around. For someone as disorderly as Asuka, the interior is surprisingly neat. A thought crosses her mind, one that suggest to Rei that perhaps she is the first person other than Asuka to ride in this car. It's outlandish and stupid, and Rei shoves the idea far tot he back of her mind as she props her chin up with her hand and stares out the window at Asuka.

From a distance, it's hard for Rei to make out much, but there's no way she can miss Asuka in her dress, shining with a brilliant color that lies somewhere between ruby red and the changing colors of an open flame. Asuka shifts her weight from side to side, looking back at the car, and despite the darkness and the tint of the windshield Rei thinks Asuka is looking directly at her.

Yui appears in the doorway a short while later. Her exchange with Asuka is too far away to hear, but before long Asuka nods, Yui waves down at Asuka's car to Rei, and Asuka's climbs in through the driver's side.

"What was that?" asks Rei.

"Non-standard disclaimer," jokes Asuka. "She said it didn't matter when we came back, as long as we had fun. I told her we'd be back before one, unless you suggested we run off together or something."

"Did you really say that last part?"

"Maybe." Asuka wiggles her eyebrows, then frowns at herself. "Anyway, we're going to be late. Sorry."

"It's alright," Rei says. _You showed up._

"Put on your seatbelt, and hold on," says Asuka. "I'm going to try to get us there in... does fifteen minutes sound good?"

"You don't have to." That annoying heat is creeping back up Rei's spine, showing on her face. She looks out the window at the house, at Yui's silhouette moving between the windows, where Rei had thought she would be confined the entire night. "I like this."

"Sitting in a car with me? Wow, you've got weird standards." Asuka starts the car, but keeps it in idle while she taps the steering wheel with her hands. "Well then, if you don't mind, I guess we can take the scenic route. Won't your brother be looking for you, though?"

"Why would he do that?"

"Never mind." Asuka shrugs and backs out of the driveway. She looks over at Rei, and her mouth opens as if she would say something- but then she turns away, shifting the car's gears, and they head down the road.

* * *

The trip from Rei's house to the dance venue takes just under half an hour. To Rei, it feels more like a series of moments- plenty filled with quiet small talk, some laced with the potent energy behind Asuka's laughter, and some spent simply lost in thought. It's mostly Rei who initiates the last of these, though Asuka seems content with just her company up until she pulls into the parking lot and kills the engine.

They sit in silence while the rumbling of the engine lessens from a gentle shaking into stillness. Asuka sits back, the parking lot lights reflecting off the sequins on her dress and the clips in her hair. "We're here," she says, something to grab Rei's attention. "Ready?" Rei shifts in her seat, looking down at her hands folded neatly in her lap. "Hey, try to have fun, alright? I mean that's the point, right?" Asuka's smile falters at Rei's lack of a reaction, and she sighs. Her hand twitches on the steering wheel, fingers tapping the faux leather as she weighs a decision in her mind.

Rei starts at the feeling of something cold against her skin. Asuka's leaning over, arms extended as she drapes her red pendant around Rei's neck and closes the clasp. "There," she says, moving back to admire it. "Something to bring out your eyes." Rei looks down at the brilliant red stone, fingers hovering just above it. "It... it looks good on you," Asuka mumbles. "Keep it."

"Asuka-"

"Keep it," she snaps, a hint of her usual brusqueness surfacing, but there's no heat to it; no commanding force behind it. She turns her head to the window, avoiding Rei's gaze. "Let's go. We've sat here long enough."

Rei climbs out of the car, trailing Asuka across the parking lot. In the glow of the lights, Rei can appreciate more what she didn't notice back at home- the way Asuka's hair falls over her back, the silver pins holding her dress straps exactly where she wants them. Asuka looks back at her impatiently, and Rei nearly stumbles, but she draws even with Asuka and pauses. Asuka's lips twitch- the ghost of a smile, perhaps?- and then she reaches down, threading her fingers between Rei's, and pulls her along into the building.

They pass over the threshold, and immediately Rei feels out of her element. She prefers quiet and solitude, not music so loud it thrums through her bones and tightly packed bodies. Asuka must sense this, for she squeezes Rei's hand once and guides her along the edge of the crowd to a refreshment table. She says something- Rei sees her mouth move- but her words are lost in the noise and when Rei points to her ear, Asuka frowns. Rei shrugs and points to the dance floor. 'Go', she mouths, and repeats herself when Asuka's frown deepens. Asuka tugs on her arm, yanking Rei so close that their shoulders touch and Rei is sure that Asuka's lips are brushing against her ear.

"What about you?" Asuka shouts.

"I'll be fine," Rei replies, giving Asuka a nudge. "Go, have fun." Asuka shakes her head, but Rei pushes her out further, and one of Asuka's friends notices her and comes over. A moment later, she's being dragged out onto the dance floor, another shadow amidst a hundred like her, and Rei can only track her by the periodic flashes of light.

From what Rei can see, Asuka's enjoying herself. She dances with an energy unlike that of anyone else, and she's smiling- but what Rei doesn't notice are the frequent glances in her direction and the melancholy way Asuka lets herself relax between songs.

The music stops, and there's a lull in the activity that Rei, helping herself to some water, doesn't notice. Then a hand closes around her wrist, and Rei looks up. Asuka stares at her, a strange glimmer in her eyes. "Come on," she says. "It's the slow dance."

"Asuka, I don't dance," Rei protests.

"Don't be silly. It's easy. Anyways, I asked you, so we should dance together at least once," she insists. She leads Rei out near the middle of the dance floor, where the tangle of people is the thickest. "One hand on my shoulder, other hand on my waist- there - see, you've got it." Rei nods, hoping the dim lighting hides the blush creeping across her face. The music starts up again, slow just like Asuka said it would be, and Asuka's hands settle on her waist as she sways back and forth.

All around them, couples are mirroring them: boys and girls, though they pay Rei and Asuka no mind. Asuka spins them around in a slow half-circle, bringing Rei closer to her, and Rei feels her pulse beginning to race as Asuka rests her chin on top of her head. If not for the warmth radiating from Asuka's skin, Rei is sure Asuka would've felt the blush burning her cheeks.

They dance until the music stops, until Asuka slows them to an imperceptible rocking back and forth, both arms wrapped around Rei, their dance more an embrace. Rei would be content to stay that way, letting Asuka hold her, but the music from before starts up again and Asuka's pulling Rei back out of the crowd. She doesn't stop at the refreshments, but leads Rei to the patio doors, which she pushes aside.

Cool air trickles over Rei's skin like water, the red of her cheeks fading- not that Asuka, walking over to the edge of the balcony, would notice. "It's better out here, isn't it?" Asuka says, resting her arms on the wood railing. "I can't stand it inside there. It's too hot and noisy. I figured you'd like it better out here, too."

Rei nods, finding herself unable to speak. She joins Asuka at the rail, staring down the side of the hill at the city below. Her eyes flit to Asuka's hand, sitting just a short distance away, fingers drumming a repetitive pattern. Asuka seems oblivious to this, more concerned with her own thoughts."

"Asuka?" Asuka turns, and Rei waits in confusion until she realize it must've been her that spoke. "I..." She couldn't look at Asuka, but she forced her lips to form words that spilled forth. "Thank you for asking me. And for showing up. This was fun."

Asuka chuckles, leaning back against the rail and tilting her head up. "I should be the one thanking you. You've been great. Not like all the other guys." She laughs again, loud and rich, but there's a faint note of longing to it. "You know, if I got dared to ask you again, I'd probably do it. You're better than the rest of them. I mean, everyone I've danced with tonight has tried to kiss me except you."

Asuka's smiling at her own joke, teeth shining in the moonlight, hair falling freely back over her shoulders, and the image is so enrapturing that Rei can't stop herself from saying, "Do you want me to try?"

Asuka's smile vanishes in an instant. Suddenly the night feels so much darker, so much colder to Rei. She offers a quick shrug and a "Just joking", but Asuka glances over and there's that strange look in her eyes again.

"You know what?" Asuka says, her voice lower than usual. "I don't think I'd mind."

Rei blinks, waiting for Asuka to roar with laughter again, to double over with it and reveal that it was, like most other things, a joke. Asuka does nothing, though- just stands there watching Rei, her fingers tapping the rail again. Rei hesitates, frozen by indecision. There's nothing to be lost by trying, only the beginning of a friendship that she's sure is merely her own wistful imagination. There's no way Asuka would feel anything towards her, much less for her- but Rei's hand inches forward, settling over Asuka's, and yet the other girl doesn't move away.

Rei steps forward, bringing her face a few inches away from Asuka's. Asuka still doesn't move, her eyes tracking Rei's every motion, lingering on her face, her lips, their touching hands- it seems to Rei that she's holding her breath, waiting for something-

Then the patio door creaks as it opens, and Asuka spins around. One of their classmates pokes his head through the gap in the doorway. "Hey, Soryu," he says. "They're closing up."

"Yeah. Got it. Come on, Ayanami." Asuka beckons and storms off through the double doors, brushing the messenger aside.

Rei follows Asuka through the clumped mass of their classmates, stopping only long enough for Asuka to say a quick goodbye to everyone else. They walk back across the parking lot, the only sounds their footsteps and the chirping of the crickets, until at last Asuka opens the door to her car for Rei to climb into and shuts it after he. She eases herself into the driver's seat, grabbing her car keys from her bag and spinning them around her finger.

"So," she says, throwing her keys up and letting them land in the cup holder. "Have fun?"

"It was alright," Rei says. "A bit loud."

"Figured. You've always been quiet." Asuka's head twitches in that way Rei knows means she's thinking too much to truly be amused. She'd seen it enough times when Asuka had flirted with the boys in class. "Rei, I..." She looks over, and the emotion burning behind Asuka's eyes stuns Rei into motionlessness. "What you said on the balcony. You were joking, right?"

_Right_ , Rei thinks. Right; there's no way Asuka would feel the same way she did. "Of course," she says, a weak smile fluttering on her lips.

"Gotcha." Asuka tosses the keys around the cup holder a bit more, biting her lip. "Rei. Close your eyes?"

Rei wants to ask why, but something in Asuka's tone tells her not to. "Okay," she says, and complies. She leans back in the passenger seat, waiting for Asuka to do something- perhaps to take back her gift, or to exit the car for some distance and to clear her head.

There's a touch on her cheek; warm, firm. It guides her head to the side; there's a weight on the seat that isn't Rei's, and before Rei has a moment to wonder what this all means, Asuka's mouth closes on hers.

She knows it's Asuka from the way she kisses- quick, demanding, but with the faintest hint of hesitance. She dares not open her eyes, but she lifts a hand and feels it brush the side of Asuka's face, resting lightly on the curve of her jaw. Asuka pauses. This gesture is unfamiliar to her, and she doesn't know what to do until Rei's lips part and move against hers, a quiet urging for her to continue.

Asuka smiles- Rei feels the edges of her mouth turn up in the short moment before their lips reconnect and move in tandem; Rei tempering Asuka's fire with the slow motions of her thumb across Asuka's cheek.

At last Asuka sits back with a slow sense of purpose. Rei drops her eyes, fiddling with the thin gold chain around her neck, her breaths coming short and shallow. "How long?" asks Asuka. "How long have you wanted to do that?"

Rei shakes her head, unable to admit it: there's not a single moment she can singularly declare as the one which made her fall in love, especially not when Asuka is the one asking her and it all seems too good to be true. "I don't know," she says. "I just have."

"Why?"

Rei shrugs, wavering under Asuka's intense, scrutinizing stare. "Since the first time I noticed you looking at me in class. Since the first time I heard you laugh. And whenever I saw you..." She looks away, gesturing out the window at the others trickling out from the building.

"The guys?" Asuka sighs. "It was never serious. I was just playing around to make them pay attention to me." She pauses, reaching across the cup holder. "I thought you never did."

"I did, when you weren't looking." Unwittingly, her gaze returns to Asuka's hand, and she reaches for it. Asuka rotates her hand palm-up, and lets Rei's settle against it. "I didn't think you were..."

"Into girls?" Asuka finishes. "Or just... into you?"

"Into me. You never really seemed to like me."

Asuka shakes her head, curling her fingers around Rei's. "I'm sorry. Really, I-"

"It's okay. We had tonight."

"What do you mean by that?"

Rei's brows furrow, coming together between her eyes, and Asuka would think it's the most adorable thing she's seen from Rei so far if it weren't for the hurt in her gaze. "I... You asked me out as a joke, right? So when we go back to class on Monday, won't everything just go back to normal?"

"Do you want it to?" asks Asuka. It's not a demand, just a simple question, the quietest one Asuka's asked all night. Rei looks up, her voice catching in her throat, and tries to answer. All she manages is a weak shake of her head. "I don't either." Her admission catches Rei off guard, and she sucks in another breath before saying, "I don't care what anyone thinks anymore. Just what you think."

"I... don't know," Rei says, her voice growing soft. Asuka squeezes her hand once before grabbing the keys from the cup holder and jamming them into the ignition.

"I don't need an answer now," she says. "Just... think about it, okay?"

"I will."

Asuka nods and starts the engine, tearing her eyes away from Rei and turning back to look out the rear window. "Alright. Now let's get you home before anyone thinks I've run off with you."

* * *

Monday cannot come quickly enough for Asuka. She spends its approach staring at pages of homework that have lost all meaning to her, daydreaming of Rei- of the softness of her lips and of the way she moves, cautious as if even a momentary slip will leave all of her immediately exposed. Perhaps it's only her wishful imagination, but Asuka thinks Rei tries harder to keep this guard up around her, but only manages to leave herself more open. And god- Asuka leans back in her chair, sighing wistfully- god, her smile.

She's still gazing off like a star-struck fool when the next day comes. She doesn't notice Hikari standing patiently next to her, not until her friend waves a hand before her nose. "Hello?" Hikari says. "Earth to Asuka. Is anyone home?"

"Huh? Uh. Yeah." Asuka tries to smile and shrug and thumbs-up all at once. Her brain short-circuits, and the subsequent lame wobble of her shoulders doesn't convince Hikari of anything aside form the fact that something must be wrong.

"You've been acting strange." Hikari plants a hand on Asuka's desk, launching into a carefully compiled list. "You're quieter than normal, you haven't answered your phone-"

_It rang?_ Asuka wonders.

"-you haven't yelled at anyone today, you said _good morning_ to Shinji, you're always staring at nothing, and you're doing it right now-"

"Shinji's here?"

"Yes?" Hikari raises an eyebrow, watching Asuka spin around in her seat in search of Shinji. "Why, did he do something dumb again?"

"Does that mean Rei is here?"

"I would guess so. I mean, they always come to school together. Why?"

"I- just wondering," mumbles Asuka.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Hikari asks, trying to peer into Asuka's eyes. "You know you're not supposed to come to school if you're sick."

"Yeah, fine, distracted. Sorry. Thanks."

"If you're sure." Hikari doesn't look the least bit convinced, but she settles back against the desk next to Asuka's. "How was the dance? Who'd you end up taking?"

"I took Rei. Why does everyone think I was going to take someone else?"

"Well, because... because she's _Rei_ ," Hikari finishes, leaning closer to Asuka to whisper these last words. "Is that why you want to talk to her?"

"Yeah, sure." _Why not_ , Asuka adds, craning her neck around Hikari to watch the students just entering the classroom. There's curiosity on Hikari's face and the sparkle of intrigue in her eyes, the kind that means she won't let this matter drop easily. Asuka can practically follow the slow descent of her heart to her stomach, weighted with the knowledge that she could never tell anyone, much less Hikari, the reason she was looking for Rei.

Her grin must've faltered; Hikari must have seen this, for she opens her mouth and Asuka can _feel_ the question coming when the start of school bell rings.

Students break off their conversations and meander back to their seats. Hikari, usually the prime example of a student eager to learn, retreats hesitantly to her seat. Asuka allows herself a relieved roll of her eyes, and then another when Rei slips into the classroom just ahead of the teacher.

The lesson is boring like usual, the only remotely normal thing to happen all day so far. Asuka tunes out the teacher's droning voice, scratching the tip of her pencil on a blank sheet of paper and shooting the occasional look at Rei.

For once, Rei isn't staring out the window. She's paying attention to the lecture, perhaps too much attention, but her sheet of notes is as blank as Asuka's is covered with pointless scribbling. While Asuka watches, she yawns- stretches- and her head tilts back just enough that she could be looking back at Asuka out of the corner of her eye, but Asuka is sure she's not. She wouldn't; she wants no part of what they shared that night in the parking lot, for if she did would she not meet Asuka's eyes and share a secret smile?

All too soon the lunch bell is ringing, prompting the teacher to snap his book shut and announce the next day's reading homework. Rei shoves her blank paper into her bag and stands, tailing him out the door with a quickness that startles Asuka. The rest of her classmates slowly stand and begin to clump together, grabbing lunches and dragging chairs together into clusters of four or five. Hikari waves to her from a group made of herself, Toji, and Kensuke. Asuka instinctually starts over, but her eyes fall upon the doorway and her steps slow.

Hikari and the others wait with patience that stretches for the long seconds it takes Asuka to come to a decision. There's no guarantee that she will find Rei, or that Rei would even speak to her. If she sits, all she'll have to endure is a half-hour of good-natured teasing until classes resume, and she can have another few comfortable hours to stare at Rei and wonder how to approach her.

Asuka's legs take her to Hikari's desk, and without faltering carry her past it, out the door, ignoring Hikari's puzzled calling of her name and the eyes of her classmates on her back. She exits the classroom, looking around to see if she can catch Rei. A hand clamps around her wrist, firm yet soft, pulling her through the crowd of students to the stairway. She takes in blue hair and pale skin without comprehending, and follows obediently.

No one else is on the roof when Asuka and Rei emerge. Rei's expression doesn't change; perhaps she was expecting this, and Asuka realizes that of _course_ Rei, who never ate in the classroom, would have to go somewhere. There is no boxed lunch in her hand, and Asuka tilts her head and gestures to it. "You're not eating?"

"Forgot it at home," says Rei. "You don't have one either."

"I'm not hungry." Rei stares at her, blinking, as if looking hard enough will determine if Asuka is being honest or not. Apparently she passes, and Rei sits down with her back to the wall of the stairwell. She gives no invitation, but Asuka sits next to her anyway, and is rewarded with one of Rei's brief smiles.

She had wanted to talk to Rei before, but now alone on the rooftop, all of Asuka's carefully constructed sentences and reactions crumble, leaving nothing behind. Rei merely sits quietly, basking in the silence and the feeling of warm sunlight tickling her skin. She doesn't watch Asuka; she doesn't need to, Asuka for once is docile and predictable, and Rei the one in her element.

Then Rei speaks. "Asuka?" she asks. Asuka looks over to find Rei staring at her.

"Yeah?"

"Could we..." A pink tinge is sliding its way onto her skin; she ducks her head to avoid Asuka's gaze, and her eyes fall on Asuka's hand. "Could we kiss again?"

Asuka swallows, the back of her neck growing hot despite the breeze. "Um," she says, for the sake of filling the silence. Rei waits for her to reply, her fingers inching closer to Asuka's, but never touching. "I... I wouldn't mind, but-" Rei's narrows her eyes, expecting to be denied; Asuka reaches forward to clasp Rei's hand as she says, "You should do it this time."

Surprise, then fear, clouds Rei's expression. But she nods and leans forward, shaking as Asuka grows closer and closer, until there's only just enough space for Rei to reach up and run her thumb across Asuka's lower lip. In the next moment the space is gone, their lips connected, Asuka reaching up to run her fingers through Rei's hair. Rei leans back against the wall and Asuka leans into her, the only things keeping them anchored to earth their intertwined hands.

"Rei..." The name leaves Asuka's lips unbidden, and it's not until Rei looks up at her, eyes lit with the reflection of the sun that she realizes she's spoken.

"Asuka," Rei replies, her tone questioning. "Asuka, what... what are we?"

It's an odd question to ask, especially at such a moment. It staggers Asuka into a helpless spiral of confusing thoughts, until her mouth at last manages to work beyond pointless spluttering. "I... we're- we're friiiiennnds?" She drags out the last word, watching Rei's face for any betrayal of emotion, but for once those walls hold steady and Rei divulges nothing. An awful, quiet moment passes, and then another. Then Rei smiles, and it appears genuine, but there's a strain that tugs at the edges of it, and the light has drained from her eyes.

"Good," Rei says. "I wanted to make sure."

"Rei-"

But the bell is ringing again, cutting Asuka off again, though this time she would do anything to continue their conversation. Rei stands, pushing the stairwell door open and descending rapidly. Asuka watches it creak shut on rusted hinges, the screech of metal so much more irritating in the absence of Rei's voice, and it's only been seconds but she misses it already. So she rises as well, running after Rei, consoled by the fact that she can still stare at Rei in class and fresh memories of another unexpected kiss. 

* * *

A group project is assigned the next day; the week after that, Hikari is absent. Asuka, dwelling on those hours spent sneaking glances at Rei during class and holding hands with her on the rooftop, fails to register these or any other events in passing. When lunch time comes, Asuka looks over at Rei, watching as she leaves the classroom before following after her.

One day, she makes it to the hallway before someone is grabbing her arm and pulling her off to the side. It's not Rei; she's nowhere to be seen in the hall, so she must already be on the roof. Asuka tries to jerk herself free, but the hand- Toji's- is strong around her arm, and he beckons Kensuke over from inside the classroom.

"Alright Soryu," he says, face twisted with concern. "What's goin' on with you and Ayanami?"

"What?" snaps Asuka, fighting to keep her surprise hidden. "There's nothing going on with Ayanami. What are you talking about?"

"You know," Kensuke says. "You're always hanging out with her now. Hikari was sick yesterday and I don't think you even noticed."

"Yeah, what's going on?" Toji adds. "Come to think of it, you've been acting like this since the dance. Did something happen? Does Ayanami have some blackmail on you?"

"Do you need us to do something?"

Shock yields to anger at Kensuke's question. "I- what? No. And _no!_ " Asuka slaps Toji's hand away from her shoulder, glaring at the boys. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, I mean... you haven't really talked to anyone except her for what, almost two weeks. We thought-"

"You can stop thinking now," Asuka snarls. "She's better company than both of you. Are you two done?"

Toji shrugs, stunned into silence. He moves aside to let Asuka pass. Asuka checks him with her shoulder hard as she stomps past, down the hall and up to the roof.

She pushes the door aside with a sweep of her arm, slamming it back against the wall. Rei doesn't look up at her as she approaches. "Sorry Rei," she says. "Toji and Kensuke held me up. Being stupid as usual."

"Mm." Rei nods, her eyes still carefully fixed on a point at the far end of the rooftop. Asuka sits down next to her, lunch bag clutched tightly in one hand.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Fine."

"Have the guys been bothering you? I'll deal with them if they are."

"It's nothing. Just thinking about... the project."

"Riiiiight, due next week. We should probably meet up this weekend and get it done, huh?" Asuka reaches down between them for Rei's hand, her fingers contacting only concrete, and she blinks in surprise. Rei has moved at last, pulling her hands closer to her body, her expression unchanged. Asuka frowns, but leaves her hand there, waiting for Rei's reply.

"My place Saturday?" Rei offers softly.

"Sounds good." Asuka smiles, hoping to evoke a reaction, but Rei remains quiet. Asuka watches her play with the hem of her shirt and sleeves, ignoring Asuka's persistent staring, neither of them speaking. More than once Asuka starts to ask what Rei is really thinking, but each time the look on Rei's face forestalls her.

The slowest lunch she's had in two weeks drags on with such stillness that not even the wind blows. But Asuka doesn't leave, nor does the thought cross her mind, and eventually Rei shifts closer to her, laying her head on Asuka's shoulder. Asuka turns in confusion, only for Rei to lift a finger to Asuka's lips. She nods, a small smile flitting across her face, and rests her cheek atop Rei's head. Once again she reaches out for Rei's hand.

This time, Rei allows her to take it.

* * *

Saturday rolls around with the same sluggish lack of urgency as the rest of the week. It catches Asuka off guard as she stands at the door of Rei's house, hand hovering a few inches away from the wooden surface, wondering if Rei has heard her and if she should knock again.

The blinds covering nearest window sway back and forth, like they've been disturbed. A moment later, the door opens and Rei's head pokes through. Her guarded expression dissolves once she sees that it really is Asuka, and she opens the door further to let her in.

"Hey," Asuka says cheerfully. "How's it going?"

"I set up my room," Rei says, turning her back on Asuka and starting down the hall. Asuka frowns a little and follows after her, slowing briefly to examine a few pictures hanging from the walls. A younger Shinji and Rei are in most of them, looking quite different from their present selves, but what strikes Asuka as strange is Rei's smile. She looks so much happier in the images than Asuka's ever seen her in real life, and this after three years of going to school with her. She reaches out for the frames, only to wrench her hand away and hurry after Rei when the squeak of door hinges reaches her ears.

She stumbles into Rei's room feeling very off-guard. Rei motions for her to leave her bag by the door and seats herself on the floor, spreading papers before her. "These are the requirements," she says, tapping one stack. "And these are notes I printed out last night."

"Right, gotcha," Asuka says, pulling her laptop and a textbook out of her backpack. "Stupid group presentations." She passes the book to Rei and types some bland, generic presentation title out before looking back at her partner. "So. How are we doing this?"

Rei's brows knit together, and she wrinkles her nose. It's such an unusual expression of dislike, and watching it makes Asuka's heart beat a little faster. "This is such a wide topic," she sighs, riffling back through her notes. "Maybe... we should both do our own interpretation of it, and then see what we've both come up with."

"Sounds good by me," Asuka says, stretching back and cracking her knuckles. "Can I see some of those notes?"

Rei nods and passes them over to Asuka without looking up, or even lifting her attention from the paper she's reading. Asuka grabs them, trying not to let her excitement show when their fingers touch, and she looks down into her lap while she shuffles through the papers. Yes, what Rei has printed will suit their needs and then some, but when Asuka thinks to compliment Rei on her work, Rei is already nose-deep into Asuka's textbook and another pile of paper. Suppressing a sigh, Asuka pulls her laptop a little closer to her and begins to type.

Half an hour, then an hour, passes. Asuka marks the time with occasional glances at the clock on Rei's desk, and with more frequent glances in Rei's direction. For her part, Rei doesn't seem to notice at all, too engrossed in scribbling things in her notebook and the margins of whatever paper she has in hand. Asuka wishes she could do the same, to omit her surroundings and focus exclusively on her task, if only so her eyes didn't end up drifting over to Rei every few minutes.

But then again, if Asuka could focus like that, she would miss all the little things- the way Rei chews at her upper lip when presented with a confusing bit of information, or the constant shuffling of her legs, as if they are the means of releasing all her excess energy. Rei looks up only once to check the time, and her gaze falls upon Asuka for a brief moment, but Asuka jerks her head down in time to avoid being noticed and pretends to be hard at work.

At last Rei pushes her papers aside, holding up a sheet and a half of notes, and passes it to Asuka for review. "This is what I got," she says. "What do you have?"

"Um," Asuka says, and spins her laptop screen around. She has a few sentences, but nothing compared to what Rei's written. This doesn't seem to bother Rei, though. She merely nods and stands, stamping out pins and needles from her feet.

"We should take a break," she suggests. "We've been working pretty hard."

"You have," Asuka laughs before she can stop herself. Rei fixes her with that perplexed stare, and Asuka shrugs. "I mean, look at you. Writing your notes by hand with your tiny little letters. You must be like. A supercomputer, or something."

The edges of Rei's mouth twitch. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" she asks.

"I thought it was," Asuka mumbles, setting her laptop aside. "I guess we can compile what we have after this. So, what've you been up to?"

"Well." Rei leans back against her bed, carefully considering her words. "Today I... woke up, read a book, and now I'm talking to you."

"Same book as always?"

"No. I got a new one." Rei reaches up and grabs it from her bed, holding it out for Asuka to see. She squints at it, crawling closer to make out the title.

"Is it good?" asks Asuka.

"I like it so far." Rei replaces the book, and when she turns back around, Asuka is even closer than before. Her eyes widen slightly, lips parting in silent confusion. "Asuka?"

"You-" Asuka begins, and manages to catch herself before she says something truly embarrassing. Such as, 'you look cute when you're confused', or something equally stupid. "Your face is red," she says instead. 

Rei takes in this statement without reacting, slouching even further down the side of her bed. Asuka crawls over on her hands and knees to sit beside her, legs pulled up against her chest, where she rests her head on the side of Rei's mattress. "Got any plans this weekend?" Asuka asks.

"Does staying at home count?"

"That's no fun." Asuka bumps Rei's shoulder with her arm. "Come on, don't you at least like going outside? You know, feel the wind on your skin, hear the birds chirping, all that stuff?"

Rei's blank expression breaks into a smile, but it's nothing like the one Asuka had seen in the picture frames. This one is worn by time and a fatigue that Asuka can't seem to put a reason to, and the ease with which Rei slides into this smile worries her. "If you hadn't noticed," Rei says softly, "I look sick when I stand in the sun."

"I don't think so." Asuka gives Rei what she hopes is an encouraging look, saying, "You looked pretty... good at the dance."

"The sun wasn't out."

"Same difference." Asuka reaches over, grabbing Rei's hand and lacing their fingers together in one motion. She's gotten better at this one thing, but when she settles back with their hands intertwined, she feels something stirring beneath the surface of Rei's skin. Something she's never felt before; something hot and agitated, and if Asuka didn't know any better, she might've thought it belonged to her rather than Rei. "Something bothering you?" she asks, leaning in.

Rei shakes her head stubbornly, not looking at Asuka, but when Asuka moves close enough that Rei can feel her breath tickling her neck, she jerks away with a sudden, violent motion. "Stop," she says, her voice quaking. "Just stop."

"Rei?" Asuka props herself up with one arm, extending the other toward Rei, who looks as if she'd love to knock it away. "Rei, what's wrong?"

"This," Rei says, her voice teetering on the brink of tears. "All of this. You being nice to me. The holding hands, the- the kissing. Why are you still doing this?"

"What do you mean?" Asuka moves closer, navigating around the jumbled mess of papers in the center of the room, trying to make sense of what Rei is saying.

"You're going to get tired of me." Rei's voice is a whisper, nearly lost amidst the dust and the carpet and the light trickling in from the windows. Her fingers curl against the seam of her pants, trembling with timid sadness. "One day, you're going to come to school and what I do won't be amusing anymore, and so you'll stop hanging out with me. And maybe you'll say hello once or twice, but that'll stop too, and then we'll no longer be friends."

There's something to her tone that makes Asuka feel she's speaking more from experience rather than just guessing, and she shakes her head. "No," she says. "Rei, that's not-"

"I get it. Asking me was fun. I had fun too, so... it's okay. You can stop fooling around. We'll finish this project, and then you can go back to eating with Hikari and the others."

"Rei." Despite the sunlight and the comfortable warmth of Rei's room, Asuka feels her knees grow weak and her skin go cold. "That's not what I want."

"Then what do you want? Why did you ask me to the dance; why are you friends with me?" She slams a fist into the carpet, hot tears peeking out from under her eyelashes and streaking down her face. "Why do all this?"

Asuka wants to answer, wants to what should be obvious- but her voice catches in her throat and sticks, and only a quiet breath leaves her lungs. Rei watches her, waiting for an answer that she's certain will never come. One long minute passes. Asuka's mouth works, but no sound emerges, and after a while Rei turns away, playing with some lint on her socks. She looks deflated, defeated, like Asuka's lack of an answer has crushed what little hope she had, and she looks so small and pitiful that Asuka knows she has to fix it. She takes a deep breath, then another, preparing to state the obvious; to shout it if need be, anything to make it get through to Rei.

"Because I- I like you." All the force in her voice slams into a wall of hesitance, and only a soft whisper makes it out, but it's still enough to make Rei lift her head. She stares at Asuka in disbelief, wordlessly daring her to repeat herself. Asuka does, a stream of words suddenly issuing forth. "I like you," she says. "I've liked you since- since forever, I just never told you because I was scared, I should've told you, I wanted to; when Toji told me to ask you I did because I thought maybe I could make things work, and-"

For the second time, Asuka's voice fails her. Rei's arms wrap around her middle; Rei buries her head in Asuka's shirt, wiping more tears away with the fabric, but Asuka doesn't mind that in the least. Her hand comes up automatically to rest on Rei's back, rubbing small circles there with her thumb. "I'm sorry," she finishes, choking back a sob of her own.

Rei is silent for a long while, steadying herself against Asuka. Slowly, her breathing changes from short bursts punctuated by hiccups to a slower, calmer pace. She clings to Asuka like a lifeline, the flow of her tears slowly stemming, until she whispers, "I didn't think you liked me back."

"Why not?" Asuka asks just as quietly.

"That day, when Suzuhara asked you if there was anything going on."

"Oh." Asuka pulls Rei closer, nestling their bodies together. "When... when I said there wasn't anything going on? Did... did you hear anything else?"

Rei shakes her head. "I left after that."

Asuka laughs, a quavering sound that resembles more a half-hearted sigh than anything else. "I told them that you were better company than both of them. And I meant it, Rei. I always mean what I say."

"I know. You seem like that kind of person."

There's another long stretch of silence, and then Asuka squeezes Rei's shoulder to draw her attention. "Rei," she says. "On the rooftop... the day when we came back. When I said we were friends. You know, I... I wanted to say more, but I didn't really know how you'd react, so-"

"So you played it safe. That's fair." Rei looks up, that calculated look back on her face. "What would you say if I asked you now?"

"Well," Asuka says. "I may be getting ahead of myself, but... girlfriends, maybe? If you're okay with it?"

"Of course I'm okay with it." Rei sounds more relieved than anything when she sits up, still keeping her arms around Asuka, and nuzzles her neck. "And if anyone asks?"

"Still girlfriends." Asuka's arms fasten tighter around Rei. "I'm reserving you. You're mine. I'm not the sharing type."

"That's fine," Rei laughs. "I mean, I get you."

"Yeah, you do." Asuka offers Rei a cautious smile, saying, "So... can I kiss you now?"

"You said it, so you have to do it," replies Rei.

"Fair enough," says Asuka, and she leans in. "And... the project?"

"Can wait."

"I hoped you'd say that." Asuka closes the distance between them, lips pressing hard into Rei's, the thrum of victory racing through her body as she kissed Rei, and Rei kissed her back. The bright morning sun pokes at her eyes; she closes them, focusing on Rei, savoring the softness with which she meets her affections.

They part, and Rei is smiling. It's a genuine smile, the same one Asuka saw in the photographs before, only so much more fuller in person. Her heart stutters at the sight, and even if Rei can't feel it, the momentary lapse in her concentration is all Rei needs to push some of the papers aside and tackle Asuka to the floor, their lips joining again. She feels Rei's hand against the back of her head, the rug under her skin, the feel of Rei's shirt against her fingertips- and decides that yes, this is all that she needs.

And she kisses Rei again.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Neon Trees' song. Wonderfully apt, too. Happy birthday, Rei!  
> Also yeah I think I'd better thank reliquiaen for beta'ing. Again. As usual. Etc.


End file.
